Debating Advice For The Donald

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Let me be frank, Donald Trump had his ass whooped this week during the first of three presidential debates. Based on his performance, his preparation was inadequate and this strategy badly flawed. I like to provide advice to politicians without regard to political stripes (although Trump appears to display no obvious stripes). I’ve come up with a few points that can give him an edge in the final two debates.

  1. The dark suit has to go. This isn’t an interview with Lehman Brothers. Go with the look from that other famous Donald – Donald Cherry. You want people to focus on you during all those split screen shots. Have a suit made in stars and stripes. It also fits in with your Make America Great Again theme.
  2. Nobody likes a grumpy president especially one that has access to the nuclear launch codes. I suggest a cocktail of ecstasy and ativan will put you in the right frame of mind for the next debate. I’m sure it will help you out smile Hillary next time around.
  3. You need to emphasize your height advantage. The public has a lot more confidence in a tall leader. Donald, you are 6’3″ while Hillary is just 5’5″. That would make her the second shortest president after James Madison and he was president 200 years ago when everyone was shorter. When standing next to Hillary, make a point of looking down at her.
  4. At the next debate, offer the American public the opportunity to be Donald Trump for a year. If elected, promise to let every American not pay taxes in 2017. Maybe even go further, allow Americans not to pay any bills in 2017. You’ll win in a landslide!
  5. Announce at the start of the next debate that on your website, you staff will me operating a nasty meter, which will keep track of every time Hillary takes a shot at you. Then every time she attacks you, hold up a finger and yell “Ouch! One more nasty!” This will take away attention from all your fibs.

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