Tempranillo Marciano

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Extraterrestrial life from Mars arrives on Earth just outside Segovia in Spain. As it turns out, wine plays an important role in the way they perceive Earth.

Bleeker and Seepa land their spaceship in the middle of a vineyard and travel by foot to a building on the property. The Martians follow a group of tourists that are filing into the winery’s tasting room. People are standing around sampling wines. No one seems to notice the two Martians, although they are barely four feet tall. Bleeker takes two glasses of Tempranillo and hands one to Sleepa. They look around, then gulp down their wine like a whiskey shot. As they put down their glasses, they let out a loud screech and their ears turn beet red. Bleeker turns and runs head first into the wall. Seconds later, Seepa does the same. The store shakes from the impact as the Martians knock themselves out and fall to the floor.

When the two extraterrestrials return to Mars, they spread the news about their discovery of this interplanetary land called Spain. Soon spaceships full of Martian tourists travel to Spain on wine tour packages. However, their passion for Spanish wine becomes an issue for the wineries.

Ferdinand, manager of the Besalu winery has his management team assembled in a tiny meeting room in the back of the winery.  He rises to start the meeting when another crash causes him to fall back into his chair.  His chair skids backwards and slams into the wall.  Dazed and embarrassed, he gets up and moves back to the table.

“Sorry for the dramatic start. The first order of business is the behaviour of our new customers. The staff and facility can’t be expected to put up with such stress.” There is another loud crash and the building shudders.

“Does anyone have any ideas?”

He gazes around the room but there is no response. Then a tiny female voice is heard from the back of the room.

“Why don’t we only serve Martians through a take-out window. That way after drinking their wine, they can harmlessly run into the countryside.”

Ferdinand ponders for a moment before shouting. “A brilliant idea. I want this new procedure set up for first thing tomorrow morning.”

The next morning Ferdinand heads directly to the winery. When he arrives, the winery tasting room is about to open and there is already a long line of Martians at the take-out window.

He tells his assistant to go inside and inform the staff to begin wine service.  The first Martian approaches the window and is handed a glass of wine, which he throws back in one shot. He lets out the customary screech as his ears turn red. However, instead of racing off into the field, the Martian turns to his right and runs head first into the outside wall of the store.

Ferdinand glumly turns to his assistant. “Call another meeting!”

This story has been submitted to Winetourismspain.  

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