Ten Things I’ve Learned During The Pandemic

  1. I find Zoom to be a popular and useful app when you have to social distance. But I suggest that when using Zoom, you keep your door shut so that the in the background, your work colleagues and friends don’t get to see a family member walk by wrapped in a towel after a shower. Just sayin’.
  2. There is no longer designated meals, like breakfast, lunch, dinner. There’s only eating and not eating (or as I sometimes refer to it as “thinking about what to eat next”). Along with the eating is drinking. No one cares if it’s not 5 pm yet. Anytime of the day is fine during the pandemic.
  3. Not only are we now cooking everyday, everyone is baking! Baking sourdough bread, baking cookies, baking brownies. Grocery stores can’t keep up with the demand for flour. And did you happen to notice the 15 extra pounds you’re carrying around?
  4. You’re eating nonstop at home and soon you find that you are forever doing dishes and never stop doing the dishes into infinity. You don’t own your dishes anymore. The dishes own you.
  5. Small talk has changed with the times. Canadians like to small talk about the weather. “That’s some rain we had,” or “cold enough for ya?” The pandemic has dominated conversation. “How many new cases today?” is a common question these days. Then of course the discussion switches to food. “How are you getting your groceries?”
  6. We all agree that quarantine life is boring and monotonous. Each day is more or less a repeat of the day before. I can’t remember if it’s Monday, Friday or Saturday. So, to make things simpler, I know refer to the day as Sameday.  So, have a Happy Sameday!
  7. Home schooling is the scourge of every parent. Most of us barely made it through calculus the first time around. It’s not going to be clearer 20 years later. The whole deal is exhausting and frustrating. I bet you wonder how those teacher do it? I’ve learned that it’s best to ditch the lesson plans. Teach kids life skills like making their beds, washing dishes, and cleaning bathrooms. If your kids are keeners, get them to do small plumbing and electrical repair jobs around the house. Your home will be never look better!
  8. No one has had a haircut in 3 months. Men have that shaggy dog look. Women’s hair is mysteriously getting darker. Some people are taking matters into their own hands and it’s not a good look either. You know the first call everyone makes when the lockdown ends – their hair salon!
  9. It’s not uncommon for you to spontaneously break into fits of crying. Don’t be embarrassed, we’re all doing it. Anxiety, frustration, money worries, kids, anything can trigger it. My only advice is keep a bottle of wine handy.
  10. People ask me what exercise am I getting – hahahahaha!

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