Beeker and Seepa v. Jehovah Witness

“Kids!” shouts Seepa. “How many instances have I told you to keep that covered by the tarp?’

Two little reddish Martian kids with tuffs of orange hair scurry from under the tarp and up the stairs of the back porch.

“Sorry, mama,” one of the two sheepishly blurts out.

“We don’t need our inquisitive Earthling neighbours to see our space vehicle,” Seepa with a frosty tone. As she steps inside, voice rings out from down the hall.

“What was that commotion about?”

“Bleeker, our offspring have been playing with the space vehicle again,” she says with a sigh. “I wish you would store it somewhere inaccessible.”

“Be reasonable. Where would you have me store it? On the roof of our dwelling?”

“At least the offspring couldn’t access it.”

“True. But our Earthling landlord would be displeased if the roof was to become damaged.”

The doorbell rings and the two Martians look at each other. “I wonder who that might be?” says Bleeker.

“Are you going to respond?” asks Seepa. “I am expecting an Earthling wig from Amazon.”

“I don’t see the necessity of a wig. You have such lovely orange hair,” he says while waddling toward the front door. When he swings the door open, he finds a well-dressed man and woman standing on their welcome mat with some literature in their hands. The man is older with salt and pepper hair. The woman is conservatively dressed in long sleeves and dress below her knees.

“Hello, do you have a few minutes so we could talk to you about Jesus?” asks the man.

Bleeker turns and shouts down the hall to his partner, “Are we aware of a Jesus being?”

 Seepa shuffles to the door, “I believe he attends our offspring’s school.”

“Oh, good,” says the woman. “Glad to hear that the school discusses Jesus with the students.”

‘A man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh,” states the man. “Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.”

“Did you write those words?” asks Bleeker.

“No,” says the woman. “Those are the words of God.”

“Can I ask you something?” asks Seepa, staring at the woman’s head.


“Are you wearing an Amazon wig?”

“No. It’s my real hair.”

“I assumed you were Amazon with the wig I’ve purchased.”

“Are you familiar with the bible?” asks the man.

Bleeker turns to his partner. “Do we know any being named Bible?”

She shakes her head.

“I’m not referring to a person but the holy book.”

“It appears you aren’t too convinced,” Bleeker says chuckling.

“You would imagine if a being was knocking on doors, that being would know what they wanted to communicate about,” adds Seepa.

“You don’t understand,” says the woman. “We came here to talk about the bible.”

“We told you we are not aware of a being with that name,” says Bleeker.

“Maybe you should post a notice around the neighbourhood, suggests Seepa. “Someone might know this Bible being you are searching for.”

The man pulls a book from a briefcase and holds it up. “This is the Bible. Would you us to leave you a copy? After you read it, we could come back to discuss it.”

“Do you belong to one of those book clubs we’ve heard about?” asks Seepa. “Our research suggests they’re some type of cult.”

The woman becomes visibly upset. “We aren’t in a cult. We’re Jehovah Witness.”

The two Martians look at each with puzzled looks.

“That’s a religion,” adds the man.

“Umm,” mumbles Bleeker. “We are Satanist.”

The two strangers quickly retreat from the door and head down the street. After closing the door, Seepa questions her partner, “What’s a Satanist?”

“I don’t really know. I think they are like attorneys. I just know they certainly do upset beings.”

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