You know what? Just fuck it. Fuck everything. - me as a Life Coach I was stopped at a red light when this nice lady leaned into an open window to tell me she’ll do anything for $50. So guess who’s getting his deck sanded and stained? Someone answered the phone when I called instead … Continue reading The Best of Twitter (May edition)

I’m sorry but there are few things that people can say that will put in a rage then this stupid phrase: I’m just saying. I think I first heard it in some Seinfeld episodes, and it just took off from there.   What does it even mean? Some people use it quite liberally without even … Continue reading Stop Saying It! Just Sayin’

I am well known for being a bagel maven, meaning “expert” or “connoisseur.” Some call me a bagel snob. There are only two types of bagels: New York bagels and Montreal bagels. Everything else, including any commercial product, is inferior. Bagels were brought to America by immigrant Polish Jews, and their popularity grew in New … Continue reading Bagels, Bagels, Bagels

In a small village in Poland, a terrifying rumor was spreading: A Christian girl had been found murdered. Fearing retaliation, the Jewish community gathered in the synagoguel to plan whatever defensive actions were possible under the circumstances. Just as the emergency meeting was being called to order, in ran the president of the synagogue, out … Continue reading The Origin of Jewish Humour

I've written a lot about the trauma experienced by my parents and family. There certainly were some sad times but there were plenty of funny moments as well. I thought I would share one particular chapter in my manuscript that you might make you laugh. Everything was my father’s business, and he had no understanding … Continue reading How Much You Pay?

Not everyone follows me on Twitter which is cool. But those who aren’t on Twitter are missing out on some of my finer comedy moments So, today I’m posting the best of my Twitter account. There's a new internet scam going around that you need to know about. I ordered some jewelry for my wife … Continue reading The Best of Twitter (April edition)

Harold grabbed a bowl of cereal and a coffee and sat down at the table opposite Sylvia.  He held the Globe and Mail which he had folded in half so that he was able to hold the newspaper with one hand and spoon cereal into his mouth with the other. "It's wonderful looking at you … Continue reading Breakfast with Harold and Sylvia

Is there anything more difficult in the entire human experience than a first date?  I don't think so.  I would rather face job loss, another Maple Leaf non-playoff season, blackout-inducing ice storms, a former Beatle passing away, my car dying on highway 401 or another family meeting on who hosts the next holiday dinner over … Continue reading Not Exactly ‘When Harry Met Sally’

This past week I posted on Twitter a request for people to provide me with random advice for a lark. I was shocked by the response. I was a little overwhelmed when over 5,000 people left comments – from tongue in cheek advice to serious ones and everything in between. I decided to post some … Continue reading This Is What You Get When You Solicit Free Advice

I enjoy cooking and consider myself to be pretty good at it. This is one of my favourite dishes and I’m posting it because I know it’s a popular one. This recipe is restaurant quality Pad Thai if you can find the ingredients. I live in a large city with many Asian supermarkets close by. … Continue reading I’m Sharing My Pad Thai Recipe