Dedicated To Toronto Maple Leaf Fans And Haters

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[sung to American Pie]

A long long time ago
I can still remember how
That hockey used to make me smile
And I knew if they had a chance
That they could make Leaf fans dance
And maybe they’d be happy for a while

But every April made me shiver
When TSN would deliver
Bad news on Sportsnet
I’d have to turn off the TV set

I can’t remember if there was ranting
When I heard about the latest Leaf pasting
Something touched me deep inside
The day the Leafs died
So

Bye, bye to the Maple Leafs
Rode the subway to the arena but the arena was empty
And them good ole Leafs were lined up at the first tee
Singin’ this’ll be the day the Leafs died
This’ll be the day the Leafs died

Did you see the 67 Cup parade?
And did you have faith in Keon’s blade?
If the Hockey News tells you so?
Do you believe in Punch Imlach?
Can the Bower save you from your funk?
And can you teach me how to take a wrist shot?

Well, I know that you were in love with Stanley
‘Cause I saw you wearin’ his jersey
You both skate with wobbly knees
Man, I dig those stay at home D’

I was a lonely teenage hockey fan
Bought a scalpers ticket from the back of a van
There I was sitting in the stands
The day the Leafs died
I started singin’

Bye, bye to the Maple Leafs
Rode the subway to the arena but the arena was empty
And them good ole Leafs were lined up at the first tee
Singin’ this’ll be the day the Leafs died
This’ll be the day the Leafs died

Now, for ten years we’ve been waiting for more
And Harold Ballard is running the store
But, that’s not how it used to be

When the Sittler sang for Harold and Clancy
In a coat he borrowed from Lanny
And a voice that came from you and me

Oh and while Ballard was looking pleased
Sittler tore off his historic “C”
Imlach looked around for some buyers
So Sittler was sent to the Flyers

And while Ballard and Imlach were cleaning house
The rest of the team practiced in the dark
And the sports scribes began to bark
The day the Leafs died
We were singin’

Bye, bye to the Maple Leafs
Rode the subway to the arena but the arena was empty
And them good ole Leafs were lined up at the first tee
Singin’ this’ll be the day the Leafs died
This’ll be the day the Leafs died

Coaches and manager came and left
If they made the playoffs it was all in jest
Finally we finished last

We landed a kid named Wendel Clark
He was good at using his fists
And landing pretty big hits

Eventually we had the big Swede and Dougie
And who can forget Curtis our new goalie
We all got up to do the wave
Oh, but we still wouldn’t be saved

‘Cause the league was going in another direction
The Maple Leafs refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the Leafs died?
We were singin’

Bye, bye to the Maple Leafs
Rode the subway to the arena but the arena was empty
And them good ole Leafs were lined up at the first tee
Singin’ this’ll be the day the Leafs died
This’ll be the day the Leafs died

Oh, and there we were now in the ACC
Another failed team to make the scene
So we just began to rebuild again

So come on Shanahan lets hear your plan
Shanny brought in Lou and some Dapper Dan
‘Cause cleaning house was all you could do

Oh as I watched Dubas mold the team
My hands were clenched and I wanted to scream
No angel born in Hell
Could break that Ballard’s spell

And as the flames climbed high into the night
To light the sacrificial rite
I saw Ballard laughing with delight
The day the Leafs died
He was singin’

Bye, bye to the Maple Leafs
Rode the subway to the arena but the arena was empty
And them good ole Leafs were lined up at the first tee
Singin’ this’ll be the day the Leafs died
This’ll be the day the Leafs died

I ran into an ex-captain who sang the blues
And I asked him for some happy news
But he just scowled and turned away

I went down to visit Real Sports
To see if they carried jerseys from years before
But the man there said he didn’t know who they were

And in the streets the old timers screamed
The young fans cried, and the fools dreamed
Not one wise word was spoken
The team was still broken

And the three players I admire most
Keon, Sittler and Bower’s ghost
They caught the last train for the coast
The day the Leafs died
And they were singing

Bye, bye to the Maple Leafs
Rode the subway to the arena but the arena was empty
And them good ole Leafs were lined up at the first tee
Singin’ this’ll be the day the Leafs died
This’ll be the day the Leafs died

 

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